Analogies for Brain Fog That Aren’t Just “Brain Fog”

This conversation is an exam for which I did not revise sufficiently.

You know at the end of Wall-E when he’s all run down and reboots but he doesn’t reboot as Wall-E, he’s just some dumb cleaning robot? I am just some dumb cleaning robot.

All my thoughts are at the bottom of a well and we’re all just going to have to wait for the bucket to come up before I can tell you whether I want a cup of tea, alright?

John Peel has set my brain at the wrong speed.

I am trying to find the right word but my brain’s dictionary is suddenly arranged alphabetically by definition, not word, so it’s going to take a while.

I’m a dial-up modem in a fibre broadband world.

My brain is a finely tuned piece of clockwork. Clockwork that is now full of candy floss.

new-girl-confused

The opening line of the Malcolm in the Middle theme tune is my standard response to any interaction.

Complicated processes are liable to cause the Blue Brain of Death.

I am making about as much sense as I would if I were steaming drunk, but unlike if I were drunk, I am painfully aware of how poorly constructed my sentences are.

I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Dr. Sam Beckett has just landed in my body and said “Oh boy!” but Al hasn’t turned up with Ziggy yet so he has no idea what’s going on.

I have decided to turn my life into one fun long-running version of the game Taboo and you’re just going to have to try and work out what word I actually wanted to say.

Why have you all started speaking Russian?

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